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“Well
the night I was born,
Lord,
I swear the moon
turned a fire red.”
No matter how today goes, it will undoubtedly be one of the most memorable birthdays of my life. Even though it feels like half of me is missing, I am still in love. I can feel it; I can touch it. It breathes within me. Even though it feels like my stars are scattered across the soil instead of hanging brightly in the sky, they are undoubtedly where they are supposed to be. I went looking for you again last evening during a storm. The sun was setting too, and the sky looked like sherbet and the clouds were lemon meringue pie. I lay upside down in my rose garden in the damp grass and I swam to you with the sky at my feet, but the closer I got to you, the further you disappeared. I wanted to feel you; to touch you. I wanted to breathe you in again and fill myself with you all the while you filling yourself with me too. I wanted so badly to feel that wind. It is a secret wanting, like a song I can’t stop humming, or loving someone I can never have. My breathing grew heavier and my eyelids fluttered as the evening turned to night and damp earth filled my senses. The fireflies gathered together and danced in a lullaby as I remembered. I wanted to tell them how I felt with my eyes. I wanted them to cry with me and wrap me in their wings to sleep, glowing like perfect stars. I wanted to tell them how I missed you, how I still dream about you, how I long to feel that wind. They told me within their silence that you learn to live with what you lose, and that’s what is meant to be. They told me that they know my heart has been broken, but I have also been so blessed. They told me to remember the sad things like an old friend but do not dwell upon them, because the sad things are not as everlasting as we believe them to be. And they told me to dance with them, and to always dance.
.
Posted by Leanna - Wednesday, July 9, 2014 - 11:30pm
‘My external sensations are no less private to my self than are my thoughts or my feelings. In either case my experience falls within my own circle, a circle closed on the outside; and, with all its elements alike, every sphere is opaque to the others which surround it. . . In brief, regarded as an existence which appears in a soul, the whole world for each is peculiar and private to that soul.’
DO NOT be afraid
you are here
to experience
Love
and all that Love
has to offer you
whether that experience
be perfect or imperfect
is irrelevant
because it is
all
for the expansion
of your
Soul
DO NOT forget
that
you are your Soul
and not your body
and
all this pain
is for a
purpose
it is but an
illusion
that only exists
within the realm
of this
Dream
.
Posted by Leanna - Wednesday, June 18, 2014 - 10:04am
