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while i'm still here

"a little more
every day
falls apart
slips away
i don't mind 
i'm okay
nothing ever stays the same
while we can 
remember when 
we always were
yes even then 
stay with me 
hold me near
while i'm still here"

via
.

Posted by Leanna - Monday, April 21, 2014 - 11:39am


I still feel you in me.

Every night, I grasp your bones to fall asleep.  I hold them close to me too, like their coldness might warm me miraculously, a wish that feels something like manifesting death into life.  Even though you’re dead and gone, I still need your skeleton to sing me lullabies.  I still need your bones to hold me close.  I still ache for your embrace even though I know it will hurt me unbearably because it won’t really be you who will be doing it.  It will be your ghost.  We are walking around on the streets on this earth like half-people, you and I.  We yearn for shelter, we yearn for a home.  We thought we saw the lights on in a window.  This pain is a long staircase in a house with no doors.  No pill, no sign of life.  You’re living through me, you’re living for me.  My body is haunted by yours.  All thoughts of you leave me barren, all words of you leave a bitter taste in the back of my mouth.  I spit them out.  I stare at them abhorrently in the sink; all mutilated and sour and dripping with you, dripping with me.  They are alive.  I am terrified of my heart and the manner in which it stops and starts.   It knows that it still belongs to you and no matter how I try to forget the truth, it always has.  I need to purge this sickness out.  I tread the earth with the wish that if I’m careless enough I will unravel beautifully if I catch myself on a corner, like a stray thread from my most-loved sweater.  I find new ways to bleed.  I cut myself on flowers.  I read too much.  I pray that a papercut may secrete enough blood to drain me dry.  And even so, I would most certainly spill out your blood instead of mine.  

via
.

Posted by Leanna - Sunday, April 20, 2014 - 9:50pm


*.

'Soul of the leaping flame;
Heart of the scarlet fire,
Spirit that hath for name
Only the name -- Desire!

Subtle art thou and strong;
Glowing in sunlit skies;
Sparkling in wine and song;
Shining in women's eyes;

Gleaming on shores of Sleep --
Moon of the wild dream-clan --
Burning within the deep
Passionate heart of Man.

Spirit we can but name,
Essence of Forms that seem,
Odour of violet flame,
Weaver of Thought and Dream.

Laught of the World's great Heart,
Who shall thy rune recote?
Child of the gods thou art,
Offspring of Day and Night.

Lord of the Rainbow ealm,
Many a shape hast thou --
Glory with laurelled helm;
Love with the myrtled brow;

Sanctity, robed in white;
Liberty, proud and calm,
Ringed wth auroral light,
Bearing the sword and palm.

Maidens with dreamful eyes
Eyes of a dreaming dove,
See thee in noble guise
Coming, and call thee -- Love!

Youth with his blood aflame,
Running in crystal red,
Sees, on the Mount of Fame,
Thee with thy hands outspread.

Leader of Hope Forlorn,
When he beholds thine eyes
Shining in splendid scorn,
Storming the rampart dies.

Many have, by good hap,
Seen thee in arms arrayed,
Wearing a Phyrian cap,
High on a barricade;

Aye, and by dome and arch
Leading, with eyes ablaze,
Onward the Patriots' March,
Singing the Marseillaise.

Lo, where with trembling lyre
Held in his long white hands
Thrilled by thy glance of fire,
Rapt the Musician stands;

Feeling them all around
Glow in the quiv'ring air --
Luminous Soul of Sound!
Music of all things fair!

Poet, and Sage, and Seer,
Smile when the world grows wan,
Knowing thine advent near,
Over the Hills of Dawn.

Anchorite, aple and worn,
Sees thee, and earth disowns --
Lifted on prayer, and borne
Up to the Shining Thrones.

Yea, as a seraph-star
Chanting in ecstasy,
Singing in fire afar,
So he beholdeth thee.

And, as in darksome mines,
far down a corridor,
Starlike a small lamp shines,
Raying along the floor --

So, ere his race be ran,
Parted his last faint breath,
Thou, for the dying man,
Lightest the ways of Death;

And, while his kindred mourn
Over his shell of clay,
Shinest beyond the bourne,
Dawn of his first new day.

Thus through the lives to be
We shall fare, each alone,
Evermore lured by thee
Unto an End unknown.'
.
blood, wine, & rose potpourri shadowbox, 2014

Posted by Leanna - Thursday, April 17, 2014 - 3:03am


yesterday is here

‘if you want money in your pocket
and a top hat on your head
a hot meal on your table 
and a blanket on your bed
well today is grey skies
tomorrow is tears
you’ll have to wait
til yesterday is here’
- Tom Waits
.

Posted by Leanna - Tuesday, April 15, 2014 - 10:00pm


.

I'm still hopelessly in love with you.
.

Posted by Leanna - Tuesday, April 15, 2014 - 6:18am


rest in peace darling

‘Life is coming to an end
So says me, me wiccan friend,
Nature coming full circle.
I’m the green man
The green man.’
.

Posted by Leanna - Monday, April 14, 2014 - 7:30pm


.

"Secret of the Rose" by Christian Schloe

' You for whom I wrote, O beautiful young woman!  
You alone whom I loved, will you reread my verse?
Will you say, "This woman had the ardor which eludes me,
Why is she not alive?  She would have loved me." '
.

Posted by Leanna - Tuesday, April 8, 2014 - 10:16pm


*

" Everything leads us to believe that there exists a state of mind where life and death, the real and the imaginary, the past and the future, the communicable and the incommunicable, high and low, no longer seems contradictory.  The dead are about us, shut out by our metaphysical denial of them.  As we lie nightly in our hemispheres asleep by the billions, our dead approach us.  Our ideas should be their nourishment.  We are their grainfields.  But we are barren and we starve them.  Don’t kid yourself, we are watched by the dead, watched on this earth, which is our school of freedom. "
 
*

Posted by Leanna - Tuesday, April 8, 2014 - 10:11pm


~*

bruises on the fruit, tender age in bloom
*~

Posted by Leanna - Friday, April 4, 2014 - 10:00pm


the divine universe lives within us

‘The purpose of contact with the spirit realm is not psychic power, but expanded perceptions.  It is the development of the ability to look beyond physical limitations and learn from the creative possibilities that exist within them, while at the same time transcending them.  It is to help us rediscover the wonder, awe, and power of the divine universe and how it lives within us.’
.

Posted by Leanna - Monday, March 31, 2014 - 2:55am