Christmas mourning, 4:30 a.m.

I woke up today and felt the bittersweet ache of candied sadness running through my head and heart.  You were the first thought on my mind.  I suppose it is to say that I miss you, I miss you and good mourning to you, my darling.  

I ventured out into the cold blue air to find you.  The icicles shone like magic in the bare branches of the trees, the wind was gentle yet biting but I felt warm arms around me still. Violet and rose clouds luminized like poetry painted over the sapphire of the sky and all the creatures who greeted me sung me a lullaby.  I heard wings in flight and I knew I was safe in this peace.  

In this time of silence I was reminded of a conversation that I had with a dear friend of mine a very long time ago.  I mentioned to him how curious it is that we become perfect for the lovers most dear to us only after we are no longer in each other's lives.  We reflect and better ourselves based on what we've lost.  How it feels like we are waiting for someone whom we know is never to return, but we wait anyway as if to show them how much we've grown in their absence.  Why is it we were unable to arrive at these necessary realizations sooner.  How heartbreaking that is.  He was pensive but responded to my thoughts without haste.  "Of course, my dear.  Because that's the way life works."  
,