Administrator's blog

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'the love that you are seeking exists within you'

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'Phases'

“Phases”

I want to be loved in this invisible way that doesn’t seem to exist on this planet

only in small increments do I find it

I suppose then it exists inside myself only

‘My darling, you can’t see it, can you? How like the moon you are. Both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you both are full, and it becomes hard to look away. Oh, you are beautiful.’

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Love's Promise by Salvador Dali, 1976

"The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet;
the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot."

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Do everything with love.

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"Mary Magdalene and the Egg of Rebirth"

Saint Mary Magdalene by Richard Stodart

"Mary Magdalene was a woman of troubles to whom Jesus gave new life when he cast out seven demons that had possessed her. She subsequently became one of his disciples, following him with persistence, courage, and humility while aiding his ministry. She was witness to some of the most important events of his life, including his death, burial, and resurrection. She was the woman whom Jesus loved."

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"Love in Salvation"

“Salvation may lie in what we do to accomplish it. So often the Universe tries to show us what will bless us, and we never receive that blessing because we are too stubborn to just do what is being shown for us to do. Even though it hurts to get free, it hurts more to stay in bondage.”

I have learned more about love in recent times than I ever have before. As always, there are so many lessons to learn; endless and depthless as well if you have the eyes to see. You have love given to you by your family; the love shown to you by your friends and those beloved; intimacy with lovers that may or may not be love but lust masquerading as such; and lastly, and most essentially, self-love. Truth be told, there are infinite manifestations and deviations of love that have no name and no form; each of which combine and fuse together with your earthly experience to develop your unique self. Within this unique self lies a soul, a soul which is born before you to learn from all burdens and blessings that are bestowed your way in order to become a vast and limitless version of divinity; of your true self. It is difficult to discern what is real sometimes. It is difficult to discern the truth from the lie that oftentimes we lose ourselves in the whirlwind of it all. We become paralyzed by our past experiences- afraid to move, afraid to love- and in doing so, we are living our lives in fear. This is no way to live. There is no fear in love. We must sever the heartstrings that only weigh us down. We must excise our ties with the past if we wish to be free. These realizations may reveal the star which you have been wishing upon your whole life long must shatter and become divided and scattered to form not one star, but many- birthing a new universe. You may wish upon these fragmented and broken stars over and over. You might even find yourself gathering the pieces up to form some semblance of what was once familiar to you. Alas, you will discover eventually that the strongest love and sense of self only thrives from once having been in ruins. It is a scary venture to begin anew, but if you are brave, you will not mind. Sometimes it takes a shattering of your heaven and losing everything you’ve ever known to recognize what it truly means to be free.

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the Rose

.the Rose
has thorns only for
those who would
gather Her.

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Wait.

Receive the Spirit of forgiveness and love yourself.

Choose to forgive and release those who have hurt you.

Pray for your enemies.

Bless those who have hurt you.

Believe that Spirit is healing your emotions.

Wait.

You gave me something, I understand. . . You gave me loving in the palm of my hand. . .

I can't tell you how I feel

My heart is like a wheel

Let me roll it

Let me roll it to you

Let me roll it

Let me toll it to you

I want to tell you

And now's the time

I want to tell you that

You're going to be mine

I can't tell you how I feel

My heart is like a wheel

Let me roll it

Let me roll it to you

Let me roll it

Let me roll it to you

<3

Even the happy.

"
I feel like even though it’s really sad sometimes
a few of those that I’ve met along the way make it
all worthwhile. Even the sad. Even the happy.

"

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"You will do foolish things,
but do them with enthusiasm."
Colette

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GHOST, n.

GHOST, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.
- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

“The demon is a liar. He will lie to confuse us. But he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological, Damien, and powerful. So don't listen to him. Remember that - do not listen.”

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Consequence:

“If, before every action, we were to begin by weighing up the consequences, thinking about them in earnest, first the immediate consequences, then the probable, then the possible, then the imaginable ones, we should never move beyond the point where our first thought brought us to a halt. The good and evil resulting from our words and deeds go on apportioning themselves, one assumes in a reasonably uniform and balanced way, throughout all the days to follow, including those endless days, when we shall not be here to find out, to congratulate ourselves or ask for pardon, indeed there are those who claim that this is the much talked of immortality.”

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'Why her? Why this girl?'

"I think the point is to make us despair. To see ourselves as animal and ugly. To make us reject the possibility that God could love us."

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Heaven on Earth

“Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.”

I’ve realized very recently that I have never forgiven myself for any of the wrongdoings that had befallen me my entire life long. What a painful and humbling moment; these evil thoughts of mine have been restraining me for far too long. I initially thought it was others that I must forgive for hurting me. When I realized that it was not the others but myself that is continuing to hurt, and will simply continue to hurt until I put the past in its rightful place I experienced a moment that can only be described as pure lucidity. My mistakes and misconceptions will keep repeating themselves until they are understood and put away. It is said that once we learn to let go we experience heaven on earth. The demons that continue to haunt me are only my own; for they are my angels in disguise.

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“She belonged to a different age, but being so entire, so complete, would always stand up on the horizon, stone-white, eminent, like a lighthouse marking some past stage on this adventurous, long, long voyage, this interminable — this interminable life.”
― Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway
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"Please put forgiveness in my heart
& teach me the ways of your love."

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Rose of

' Untitled ' by František Drtikol

Rose of flesh and blood.

one pound of flesh
no more no less
no cartilage no bone
but only flesh

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“Before my birth there was infinite time, and after my death, inexhaustible time.
I never thought of it before:
I'd been living luminously between two eternities of darkness.”
― Orhan Pamuk, My Name is Red
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See! I will not forget you... I have carved you on the palm of my hand. My love is ever before you.

And we know (understand, recognize, are conscious of, by observation and by experience) and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love Spirit cherishes for us. Spirit is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in Spirit, and Spirit dwells and continues in him.

In this (union and communion with Spirit), love is brought to completion and attains perfection with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment (with assurance and boldness to face Spirit), because as Spirit is, so are we in this world.

THERE IS NO FEAR IN LOVE (dread does not exist), but full grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror. For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and so he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love (is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection).

We love Spirit, because Spirit first loved us.

In this the love of Spirit was made manifest (displayed) where we are concerned: in that Spirit sent His Son, the only begotten or unique (Son), into the world so that we might live through Him.

In this is love: not that we loved Spirit, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation (the atoning sacrifice) for our sins.

Beloved, if Spirit loved us so (very much), we also ought to love one another.

Who shall ever separate us from Spirit’s love? Shall suffering and affliction and tribulation? Or calamity and distress? Or persecution or hunger or destitution or peril or sword?

For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of Spirit.

May Spirit through your faith actually dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts. May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love, that you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all of the saints (Spirit’s devoted people, the experience of that love) what is the breadth and length and height and depth of it; (that you may really come) to know (practically, through experience for yourselves) the love of Spirit, which far surpasses mere knowledge (without experience); that you may be filled (through all your being) unto all the fullness of Spirit (may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with Spirit.

Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for Spirit’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.

Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands. My walls (my love) are ever before you.

Beauty for Ashes

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"You're not lost darling;
you are exactly where you're supposed to be."

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And now, the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

You cunt, I´m not a queer

I´ll state my case, of which I´m certain

I´ve lived a life that´s full

I've traveled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

Regrets, I´ve had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did, what I had to do

And saw it through with out exemption

I planned each chartered course

Each careful step along the highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

There were times, I´m sure you knew

When there was fuck fuck fuck-all else to do

But through it all, when there was doubt

I shot it up or kicked it out

I faced the wall and the world

And did it my way

I've laughed and been a snide

I´ve had my fill, my share of losing

And now, the tears subside

I find it all so amusing

To think, I killed a cat

And may I say, not in a gay way

Oh no, oh no not me

I did it my way

For what is a brat, what has he got

When he wears hats and he cannot

Say the things he truly feels

But only the words, of one who kneels

The record shows, I fucked a bloke

And did it my way

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And now, the end is here

And so I face the final curtain

My friend, I'll say it clear

I'll state my case, of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full

I traveled each and ev'ry highway

And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway

And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

I've had my fill, my share of losing

And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that

And may I say, not in a shy way,

"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

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' Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they've given us. '

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'Phases'

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"Mary Magdalene and the Egg of Rebirth"

"Love in Salvation"

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the Rose

Wait.

You gave me something, I understand. . . You gave me loving in the palm of my hand. . .

Even the happy.

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GHOST, n.

Consequence:

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Heaven on Earth

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Rose of

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See! I will not forget you... I have carved you on the palm of my hand. My love is ever before you.

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"Out for summer, out til fall, we might not go back at all."

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