Administrator's blog | Leanna Banana

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if something doesn't feel right, it's because it's not.
always follow your heart and intuition.
know when to let go.
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Hello, Flower. It is I again, remember me? You’ve been spread so thin these days; when everything and nothing is clamoring for your affections all at once. It is exhausting, I know. You are exhausted, I know. We feel it all the way through our little soul. So I saw you again in my dreams and you were standing on your head with your heart in the ground and your head in the sky and the stars were spinning all around you, those lovely things. And you were a lovely thing, you were. Your words were loud and clear and rang through my head (and only in my head), and they had a life of their own. They sung to me, lingered around me, headless whispers and they said something like, ‘My darling, my darling, upside down is really rightside up if you see it the right way.’ And I knew it. I knew it was right; I felt it in my heart. Things around you may feel broken and bruised and like they are spinning really fast; they are spinning so fast that you may be losing sight of your most loved and most important things. You may feel like they are slipping out of your grasp. Like the earth that is so in love with the moon; he can’t quite let her go, so he admires her from afar, pained and longing in love while they dance together in the starry night. And you may feel pained and longing in love with yourself or with aspects of yourself that you cannot see at the moment, because they are hiding. Because they are really being stretched and formed into something bigger and more beauteous; a bigger and more beauteous starry starry night. You may think that things are vapid when actually they are resplendent. Everything is resplendent.

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Dream

' If dreaming really were a kind of truce
as people claim, a sheer repose of mind,
why then if you should waken up abruptly,
do you feel that something has been stolen from you?
Why should it be so sad, the early morning?
It robs us of an inconceivable gift,
so intimate it is only knowable
in a trance which the nightwatch gilds with dreams,
dreams that might very well be reflections,
fragments from the treasure-house of darkness,
from the timeless sphere that does not have a name,
and that the day distorts in its mirrors.
Who will you be tonight in your dreamfall
into the dark, on the other side of the wall? '

- Jorge Luis Borges

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The moon is setting while the sun is rising.

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Nu Papillon by Miroslav Bocian
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"

In life,
all good things
come hard,
but wisdom
is the hardest
to come by.
"
Lucille Ball

*

Over walls and earth and trees and swinging sprays and tendrils the fair green veil of tender little leaves had crept, and in the grass under the trees and the grey urns in the alcoves and here and there and everywhere were touches and splashes of gold and purple and white and the trees were showing pink and snow above her head and there were fluttering of wings and faint sweet pipes and humming and scents and scents. And the sun fell warm upon her face like a hand with a lovely touch. She looked so strange and different because a pink glow of color had actually crept all over her- ivory face and neck and hands and all. She cried out, “I shall live forever and ever and ever.”
- The Secret Garden

photo by Anna
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"We do not know our own souls,
let alone the souls of others."
- Virginia Woolf

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"Our Soul"

“Goodbyes are painful and for all reasons spoken as well as not; but even more so because as humans we cannot always see the purpose behind them. The secret is that within these goodbyes are important lessons to be learned. It is true that the world is a mysterious place, but that is also what makes it so wonderful.”

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I'm always missing.

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photo by trina

"The Girl with the Lantern" by Richard Brautigan

I saw a lantern faraway and moving out of the piney woods. The lantern came down a road and then crossed over bridges and went through watermelon patches and stopped sometimes by the road, first this road and then that road.
I knew who the lantern belonged to. It was in the hand of a girl. I had seen her many times before walking at night, over the years.
But I had never seen the girl up close and I didn’t know who she was. I knew she was sort of like me. Sometimes she had trouble sleeping at night.
It always comforted me when I saw her out there. I had never tried to find out who she was by going after her or even telling anyone about seeing her at night.
She was in a strange way mine and it comforted me to see her. I thought she was very pretty, but I didn’t know what color hair she had.
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'hoodoo that voodoo'

oc·cult
əˈkəlt/
noun
1.
supernatural, mystical, or magical beliefs, practices, or phenomena

2.
beyond the realm of human comprehension; inscrutable

3.
something hidden; difficult to see or observe
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I think that's what makes it right,
is when you find others who are not right.
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"the whole thing is my love for you"

It is the very error of the moon.
She comes more near the earth
than she was wont. And makes
men mad.
- Othello
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I'm a Voodoo Chile

Well, I'm a Voodoo Chile

Lord I'm a Voodoo Chile

Well, the night I was born

Lord I swear the moon turned a fire red

The night I was born

I swear the moon turned a fire red

Well my poor mother cried out, "Lord, the gypsy was right!"

And I seen her, fell down right dead

Have mercy

Well, mountain lions found me there waitin'

And set me on a eagles back

Well, mountain lions found me there,

And set me on a eagles wing

Its' the eagles wing, baby, what did I say

He took me past to the outskirts of infinity,

And when he brought me back,

He gave me a Venus Witch's ring

And he said "Fly on, fly on"

Because I'm a Voodoo Chile, yeah, Voodoo Chile

Well, I make love to you,

And Lord knows you'll feel no pain

Say, I make love to you in your sleep,

And Lord knows you felt no pain

Have mercy

'Cause I'm a million miles away

And at the same time I'm right here in your picture frame

'Cause I'm a Voodoo Chile

Lord knows, I'm a Voodoo Chile

Well my arrows are made of desire

From far away as Jupiter's sulphur mines

Say my arrows are made of desire, desire

From far away as Jupiter's sulphur mines

Way down by the Methane Sea, yeah

I have a humming bird and it hums so loud,

You think you were losing your mind

Well I float in liquid gardens

And Arizona new red sand

I float in liquid gardens

Way down in Arizona red sand

Well, I taste the honey from a flower named Blue,

Way down in California

And the New York drowns as we hold hands

'Cause I'm a Voodoo Chile

Lord knows I'm a Voodoo Chile
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me noyer dans les roses

fleurlung

via

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It's Going Down

' Magic is the color of the thing you wear
with a dragon for a button
and a lion for a lamp
with a carrot for a collar
and a salmon for a zipper

Hey! You're turning me on: baby.
That's the way it's going down.

WOW! '

- Richard Brautigan
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07.10 (lemon meringue and roses)

“Well
the night I was born,
Lord,
I swear the moon
turned a fire red.”

No matter how today goes, it will undoubtedly be one of the most memorable birthdays of my life. Even though it feels like half of me is missing, I am still in love. I can feel it; I can touch it. It breathes within me. Even though it feels like my stars are scattered across the soil instead of hanging brightly in the sky, they are undoubtedly where they are supposed to be. I went looking for you again last evening during a storm. The sun was setting too, and the sky looked like sherbet and the clouds were lemon meringue pie. I lay upside down in my rose garden in the damp grass and I swam to you with the sky at my feet, but the closer I got to you, the further you disappeared. I wanted to feel you; to touch you. I wanted to breathe you in again and fill myself with you all the while you filling yourself with me too. I wanted so badly to feel that wind. It is a secret wanting, like a song I can’t stop humming, or loving someone I can never have. My breathing grew heavier and my eyelids fluttered as the evening turned to night and damp earth filled my senses. The fireflies gathered together and danced in a lullaby as I remembered. I wanted to tell them how I felt with my eyes. I wanted them to cry with me and wrap me in their wings to sleep, glowing like perfect stars. I wanted to tell them how I missed you, how I still dream about you, how I long to feel that wind. They told me within their silence that you learn to live with what you lose, and that’s what is meant to be. They told me that they know my heart has been broken, but I have also been so blessed. They told me to remember the sad things like an old friend but do not dwell upon them, because the sad things are not as everlasting as we believe them to be. And they told me to dance with them, and to always dance.
.

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I won't
let go,
even if
you
say so.
No,
I won't
let go.
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‘My external sensations are no less private to my self than are my thoughts or my feelings. In either case my experience falls within my own circle, a circle closed on the outside; and, with all its elements alike, every sphere is opaque to the others which surround it. . . In brief, regarded as an existence which appears in a soul, the whole world for each is peculiar and private to that soul.’

~.

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the nature of consciousness
is to experience itself
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'even if it has slipped from your hands, it will stay in your body'

when you make it through,
you will be rewarded
in eternal life;
my love is ever
before you.

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(you know who you are)

How marvelous it is the world allowed us to meet.

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l e s s o n s

DO NOT be afraid
you are here
to experience
Love
and all that Love
has to offer you
whether that experience
be perfect or imperfect
is irrelevant
because it is
all
for the expansion
of your
Soul
DO NOT forget
that
you are your Soul
and not your body
and
all this pain
is for a
purpose
it is but an
illusion
that only exists
within the realm
of this
Dream

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The past is just a story that we tell ourselves.
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